Death by Po-boy

April 27th, 2006 by Scott

This week I’m reporting from my hometown, New Orleans. I’ve returned to the city that reared me for the annual Jazz and Heritage Fesival (aka Jazzfest), to join my mother and some other fine, carnivorous folks as an official food-taster for the Times Picayune (a paper which, I hasten to add, just earned itself not one but TWO Pulitzer Prizes). I know what you’re going to say about this gig, so I’ll go ahead and say it for you: some people just get the worst breaks.

As I work on the full Jazzfest meat post (and it’s a major doozy – I took over two hundred photographs of food alone), I wanted to write a quick piece about one of my favorite local NOLA specialties: the humble roast beef po-boy. There are, of course, many po-boy varieties (seafood — particularly fried oysters, shrimp, catfish or soft-shell crab — ham & cheese, turkey, french fry, etc.), all of which I’m fond of, but the roast beef is extraordinary unto itself. It’s not exactly an exotic dish — roast beef with gravy on a French baguette with or without “dressing” aka lettuce, tomato, pickles and mayonaise — but easily one of the most decadent. At least the way they prepare it at my preferred spot, R&O’s Restaurant. I don’t know exactly what kind of voodoo gris gris is going on in the R&O kitchen, but they somehow manage to transform a dish that, in less capable hands, would be a thoroughly boring sandwich into somthing knee-bucklingly good. I know of one particular Yankee whose entire vocabulary, upon her first bite, suddenly became limited to the phrase “Oh my God!” which she mumbled repeatedly (and with decreasing coherence) between each big, gooey mouthful.

Here, take a gander at the one I got the first day I came home:

Why is the R&O roast beef po-boy so good? I couldn’t tell you all the specifics — that would be best left to the alchemists back in the kitchen — but I have my suspicions. First, the beef is chopped short (not those long, stringy slices that leave you in dire need if dental floss), cooked slowly to make sure it’s fully done but still buttery soft (this is not the rare roast of the kind you’d find in a New York deli), and drenched in its own thick gravy. The other key, in my experience, is to make sure you order it dressed. “Do I really need to add mayonaise to a sandwich already drowning in gravy,” you ask? No, not really, the sandwich would do just fine on its own…but you’d really be missing out if you didn’t. The end result is not the cleanest eating experience you’ll have; in fact, it might well be one of the sloppiest, as the thing invariably falls apart in your fingers about halfway through, but that’s far, far from the point. It’s all about taste, and this sloppy guy has it in spades. It’s massive and messy and dripping hot with gravy and mayonaise and beef, all a perfect counterpoint to the freshly toasted French bread. And if you can’t appreciate that, I’m sad to say that you have no appreciation for food, so go ahead and become a breatherarian already.

The only drawback to this meal, if there is one, is that it isn’t the most health conscious menu choice out there. Once you’ve finished, your BGC (blood-gravy content) level will easily surpass all logical standards of human healthfulness. Eat one of these every day without some cholesterol fighting drugs in your system, and it’s only a matter of time before your heart actually explodes. Which would of course be a bad thing; I don’t anyone who would want the word “sandwich” listed on the “cause of death” line of their autopsy report. Then again, there are worse ways to go.

That said, taken in moderation, a New Orleans roast beef po-boy, properly executed, is a thing of sheer joy and amazement.  *sigh*  It’s good to be home!

Posted in Beef 3 Comments »

3 Responses to “Death by Po-boy”

1. Derek wrote on 05/6/06 at 12:34 am :

   Po-boys are certainly tasty, but me, I prefer the wurst breaks.

2. Blau wrote on 05/6/06 at 3:33 pm :

   “Mama” Cass Eliott, of the Mama’s and the Papa’s, is rumored to have died by choking on a Ham Sandwich. This, of course, is untrue, as an autopsy later revealed her untimely demise to have been attributable to a heart attack. However, the urban legend took root regardless and has turned her death into one of the most ignominious in music history. A solid reason to cut back to one roast beast po-boy every other day.

3. Scott wrote on 05/7/06 at 6:36 pm :

   Per above, I love the fact that Blau capitalized “Ham Sandwich.” So formal, almost regal. Sounds like my kind of meal!

   And as for Derek, I believe the hot sausage po-boy is the one for you, surely the WURST one out there, har har.

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