You Are Going To Die…Would You Like To Hear About Our Specials?

August 14th, 2009 by Scott Gold

Death Server

After binging on coverage of the current debate over our health care system and all the insanity it’s wrought, I had a seriously disturbing dream last night.  It was that special brand of nightmare you tend to have after you’ve been up way too late with a bottle of Stoli and a hefty edition of Kafka.  I sat alone in a spare, dark room, lit only by a floodlight with me directly in its beam.  Before me, a very tall, menacingly heavy table — all sharp, slightly off angles — at which sat a panel of drably dressed, humorless bureaucrats.  They appear to be scrutinizing an avalanche of paperwork for some time, just long enough to make me feel suitably terrified.  Then they address me.

DEATH PANEL: Mr. Gold, it is the final and irrevocable decision of this council that, because of deliberate inaccuracies on your initial application for Obamacare Socialized Health Insurance, Inc., your motion for continued existence be denied.

ME: (Baffled) Excuse me?

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